The fan on the floor was blowing cool air on my ass. First on one cheek then right up the center, then on the other side. I would like to blame my ADHD for my predicament, but Nicky will have none of that. She’s right too.

Nicky is awesome, so much better than I deserve. Firm athlete’s body and a great mind, and unlike me, she’s disciplined. Really disciplined. That’s why she’s the disciplinarian and I’m the disciplined. Nicky doesn’t really believe in ADHD. She thinks I need to train my mind in the same way that she thinks I need to train my body. I have trouble with both which is why we have a system.

Every week I make a list of things I’m going to get accomplished. I’m an independent researcher so most of them are work related. Some personal and Nicky gets to add a few chores. Nicky also reviews the list because all ADHD people love to make lists of things they’re going to do. Not really a list of things that will get done, but a long list of things they would like to accomplish if only they were able to focus.

At the end of the week, we review what I got accomplished. Then we either celebrate or I’m in trouble. At first it was great, but then Nicky figured out that I kinda like to be spanked and disciplined. Hey the focus is all on me. I love it. But Nicky says, “You won’t train your mind if you like winning and losing.” She should be a coach cuz she also likes to say things like, “you have to give 110%.”

So now I’m in trouble. Nicky has realized that getting a naked spanking doesn’t punish me. She also figured out that I lie on my list. I have two lists. One for her-the fake one. One for me-the real one. One for her-the fake one. Nicky did not approve.

The new rules involve lots of cool sex if I do what I’m supposed to. If I don’t, well, I’m currently tied up naked with a fan blowing on my ass. Oh. I’m not tied up in a cool way with lots of leather instead I’m tied up with an extension cord, an old dog leash, and some extra rope. Not kinky fantasy bondage, just Dan’s-in-trouble-bondage. Nicky wasn’t wearing cool leather gear either. She was wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and a sports bra. Now, she’s in the shower. If I had done my work I’d be soaping her body up right. Rubbing soap on that hot firm ass of hers and cupping her breasts. She has great perky size C’s. Perfect size. Her nipples are like perfect little raspberries.

“Ouch. What the hell.”

Nicky glowered at me. I just felt the shock of her personal defense zapper.

“You were supposed to be working. You were supposed to write ‘I will train my brain.’ 500 times. Instead I find you daydreaming. That’s how you got in this situation in the first place.”

I hoped she spanks me or grabs me again. Something cool. Like being forced to go down her again and again.

“Start over. If I catch you screwing up again the zapper will be on your balls and you will be writing in the hall outside the apartment. I’m sure those two frat boys across the hall would love to put you on YouTube.”

“For this infringement you’re going to get some special punishment. Very special punishment and not the kind you like.”

Crap. I was on number 200. Now I got to start over.

I will focus. I will train my brain. I will deal with ADHD on my own, not with drugs.
I will focus. I will train my brain. I will deal with ADHD on my own, not with drugs.
OK. Almost done. 450.

I heard Nicky in the other room with her good friend Karen. Shit I got to finish up. I hope Karen doesn’t have to use the bathroom. When she closes the other door, she’d see me. Why didn’t we get a bigger apartment?

Karen is a total bitch to me. I have no idea why. Well, I know she thinks I’m not good enough for Nicky. And I did get drunk and slam into her car in the parking lot one night. I also puked on her carpet, but that was the tequila, not me.

I finished up the writing. OK. Nicky can come in and untie me.

Then, I heard Nicky’s voice, “Yeah, he’s in the bedroom. I think you’ll like this.”

“Uh. Oh. What does that mean,” I wondered. Panic set in. Shit this must be a trick. Some sort of mindfuck. I didn’t want Karen to see me like this. That isn’t my fantasy. Not like this with my ass up in the air, I look ridiculous. I’m not even erect. It’s gonna be like that Seinfeld episode. Does Karen know about shrinkage? Shit. I’ve got that stupid dog leash on too. What am I gonna do?” I try to scrunch as best I can out of view of the doorway.

“Oh my god. This is too perfect. Too perfect.”

I looked up to see Karen digging through her purse. She grabbed her cellphone, and I heard the ominous click of a photo being taken.

“You look so pathetic. How does Nicky put up with you? Your fat, flabby, hairy, and have the smallest penis I’ve ever seen. Not only are you the most pathetic physical specimen I’ve ever seen, but your girlfriend has to spend her time making you do your own work. You may be the biggest loser on the planet.”

“Nicky, I think this is over now. You can untie me. This isn’t funny.” I struggled but couldn’t get away and I was tied up in a sort of weird way so that my left hand was sort of tied between my legs to my right ankle.

“Oh Nicky, it is funny. Very funny. There’s no need to untie him yet. I love the dog collar. It sets off his eyes.”

“You think? I’m glad, I was afraid the dark brown dog collar was setting off his back hair.”

“Noooo. His back hair is probably two or three shades darker than the collar.”

“Ok. Good they’re laughing. They’ll untie me, I’ll get teased a bit, and we’ll go out to dinner,” I thought.

Dan, I was worried that I might not be able to be hard enough on you. I’m doing this because I love you. You’re in danger of not being able to earn your Master’s degree. You’ve been working on your thesis for four years. You constantly miss deadlines for grant applications; you pay all your bills late. You start a million things and finish none. I love you but you’ve got to learn to focus just a bit. Just enough to get your work done. At least the main things.

Karen’s feet were suddenly under my eyes. She was wearing flip flops of all things. Don’t the girls at least know that in this situation they are supposed to be wearing sexy thigh high boots. Karen’s in flip flops. Nicky’s in Chuck’s. Whoever heard of a domination scene in flip flops and Chucks?

“Poor little Danny. Can’t drive. Can’t hold his liquor. Can’t finish his own work. Can’t get an erection when he’s tied up in front of two women.” Karen moved behind me, and I looked back to see what she was doing. Then I heard the camera phone go off again.

“OH. That is so perfect. I have the extension cord, the dog leash, his fat ass, and his little puppy dog eyes. This is going is gonna be framed on my wall. Right over the puke stain on the carpet.”

She took off her flip flop and smacked me on the ass. “How many times are you supposed to write ‘I will do my work?’” she asked.

“500” I mumbled.

“500? Well that is a lot. I’m glad it wasn’t 300. I like that movie. I wouldn’t want my memory scarred. All those sexy actors with great abs. The exact opposite of you.” She hit me again with her flip flop.

“Hey quit that.”

“Quit the way you quit whenever you don’t feel like working?” This time it was Nicky. “Hit him again and make sure he feels it.”

Karen starting spanking my ass harder and harder with her flip flop. The pain wasn’t deep but it stung like a bitch.

Out of breath finally she asked Nicky, “You don’t have a strap on do you?”

“Oh god no.”

“That’s too bad because if someone is a bitch, we should treat him like a bitch. And by someone I mean Dan.” Karen glowered at me again.

“OK. OK.” I struggled in my binding, but it didn’t seem to be working. What the hell was Nicky some sort of Boy Scout who tied knots? I felt horrible, humiliated. Helpless and my ass was stinging worse than that time at the beach with the jellyfish. Why did it have to be Karen? Couldn’t it have been someone else? Anyone else would have been done by now. It would all be over. Besides Karen is an evil bitch. I didn’t know what was going on but I knew she was planning something horrible.

Karen hit me in the face with a carrot. “Guess what I’m going to do with this?

“Put it in a pot of boiling water and make a stew.” I replied.

No. If I was going to make a stew I’d have onions too. I’d get the onions but I don’t think they’ll go up your ass. But the carrot will. You’d better pray to god that the carrot doesn’t break because as bad as this is, the emergency room won’t make it better.”

Wait wait Karen. You can’t just stick a carrot up his ass. That won’t help him learn.

Oh thank god the humiliation is over. Nicky will put a stop to this. Its really going far. Way way too far.

“You need to put a little lube on it. We want to humiliate him not have rectal bleeding. There’s no need for my carpet to have a stain.” She turned to me, “Baby, I want to watch you suck the carrot. And I want to see you suck it good. Next time you want me to deep throat you, I want you to think long and hard about this.”

“Ok. Ok” I felt defeated.

Nicky put the carrot in front of me. Trying to shove it in my mouth. I made only the smallest pretense of not doing what she told me. I tried to keep my pride. But in the end I opened my mouth and let her shove a carrot in it. Then I started sucking. I started sucking like a bitch. The camera phone clicked continuously. Nicky pushed it in further and further. Moving the carrot in and out of my mouth. Sometimes it would touch the back of my throat and I’d start to gag.

“Yes baby. Sometimes it makes you want to gag.” She pulled the carrot out of my mouth and took Karen’t flip flop. “Give it a kiss.”

I kissed the flip flop.

Then she ordered me to lick it which I did. I did just what I was told. I licked the part where Karen’s dirty feet were, and I licked the part where the dirty ground was. I wouldn’t have been so defeated except that I knew I deserved it. I knew that I should have written my master’s thesis. I knew I should have done my work. I know I’m a fuck up who deserves it.

“You know those frat boys across the hall, the ones that are always playing their music too loud? They’re going to love these photos. It’s good that Nicky loves you because after those guys realize what a loser you are, they going to have a great chance of taking Nicky from you. Maybe it won’t happen, but they will be able to laugh and introduce you as the carrot fucker to everyone. Don’t they know everyone down at the coffee shop, Craig’s Bar, and Soul’s Diner? Oh yeah they do. You won’t be able to go anywhere once they get these photos.” Karen said.

Well the carrot isn’t going to get much wetter from your spit, Nicky said. But guess what I have here. It’s a tiny bottle of baby oil. Baby, why do you keep buying bottles of baby oil? Do you get diaper rash? Or is it that you masturbate when you should be working? Did you think I didn’t know about your little stash? Didn’t think I knew about the sites you check out while I’m at work? Didn’t think I knew about the baby oil, did you? Where the hell was I supposed to think the oil stains on the sheets came from?

Uh. OH. Nicky was getting pissed.

I work and work and work. You screw around all day long. You don’t get simple work done. You don’t clean. Apparently you wank off all day to the internet while staining the sheets. And I have to be the bad guy who watches over you and punishes you. Ever think I don’t need more hassle in my life? Did you?”

With that she shoved the carrot right in my ass.

It was shocking. I’d never had any thing there. Never at all. And it kinda hurt. Stretching sore hurt. Then it definitely hurt.

“ow. Ow.” Slow down. Ouch. Not so fast.” Oh do you want me to loosen you up first? Not just shove it all the way in? Is that what you like? Hmm. I was under the impression that when you are doing the fucking you just pound away. I wonder where I got that idea.

“Nicky, I’m out of room on my camera and I want to switch to video. Where’s your digital camera?”

“Karen, its on the island next to the kitchen. Oh and come back with another carrot. I think Danny here wants to be double penetrated.”

Ohhh. Can I be the one who does that?”

“Hmm. Let me think about it. Can you double fuck my boyfriend with two carrots while I videotape the whole thing???? Hmmm. Yes.”

Nicky twisted the single carrot a bit deeper into my ass. I moaned a bit. Not like a happy deep sexy moan. More of a wretched base moan. The moan of someone who is defeated and has a carrot deep up his ass.

Karen came back with the camera and the carrot. Nicky took the camera and started filming. Karen started prying my ass with the first carrot. Trying to make an opening for the second one. The pain was excruciating. I mean real pain. Not fun stinging. Real pain. Have you ever had someone start prying your ass open? NO? Well then you don’t know how painful it is.

“Oh Nicky, I hope you’ve got that on camera. Your boyfriend finally got a hard on. Being naked in front of two women didn’t do it, but having two carrots up his ass did. Danny are you gay? Are you imagining that it’s a big orange guy fucking your ass?”

I didn’t think I was gay. I was in terrible pain and humiliation. Now I have an erection. I didn’t even know how it happened.

“Danny are you gay? If you don’t speak. I’m gonna take the carrot out of your ass and shove it down your throat.”

“No I’m not gay. I don’t know what’s causing it.”

“I think I know, Karen. You’re pounding Danny’s prostate and apparently he loves it.” said my girlfriend Nicky. “Danny, I want you to keep the carrots in your ass. If they fall out, I’m shoving them in your mouth. I’m gonna roll you over onto your back and shoulders. Do you understand?

“I don’t think I can keep them in. They want to come out.”

“Well, I guess you want to taste your own ass then.” Nicky kicked my right elbow so I fell down. Then she picked my feet up so that they were over me in some sort of crazed deadbug yoga pose.

The rope from my left arm to my right ankle was tangled and pinching tightly against my nut sack. I was less comfortable than before, but somehow the carrots stayed in. Maybe because Karen never lubed up the second one.

“Now, open your mouth wide and start jerking off! Nicky commanded. You’re gonna come in your own face. You’re going to lick up every drop that doesn’t go down your throat the first time.”

Karen grinned and started pumping harder. My ass was totally splitting. “Get me in the video,” she said.

Nicky kicked me with her Chucks and pulled on the rope so that I got a rope burn on my nutsack. “I told you to wank, so you’d better wank.” She commanded. I complied immediately.

The pain, pleasure and humiliation were overwhelming. It wasn’t long before I came. Right in my own face. Nicky made me push all the extra drops from my face into my mouth and I swallowed my own load.

Finally Karen pulled the carrots out of my ass. “oh my god what a stench,” she said. It smells horrible. She quickly wiped both my cheeks with the carrots. I could feel a little residue on my face. Then she leaned in and whispered so softly in my ears I could hardly believe it was Karen.

“Do what Nicky tells you. Finish your thesis and your work or this will be the best day, not the worst day. There’s no reason for everyone to know about your humiliation. I’ll email you a photo or two just to remind you to listen and to save up for a diamond ring to put on Nicky’s finger.” Then she took her flip flops and left.

Nicky untied me. “I’m so sorry baby. I had to do that. I’m going to hold this over you, but I’m doing it for your own good. I want to go to your master’s graduation. I want to see you get those grants.

I reached up to kiss her and hug her.

She leaned in to kiss me back but then pulled away. “Oh baby you smell like shit. Get in the shower and I’ll see you in a bit.”

I forgot that I’d been Dirty Sanchezed.